sunny's

五點多被call 說是有一個阿公喊心臟跳很快(其實也才81bpm)
三天沒睡覺了 頭暈腦帳
被另一個稍年輕  但也是阿公級的人帶來

聽了較年輕的阿公說明
(daily cycle disturbance, easy anger, multiple physical complaints
poor sugar control, frequent falls )  
再檢查了一下
其實大概知道是怎嚜回事

我可以給他一顆睡覺藥  或者打個Vena-Ca在一罐點滴裡慢慢滴
然後祈禱下次值班時 不要遇到這個阿公跌倒被送來
但我堅持不給藥
我花了一個鐘頭的時間跟那位阿公的結拜兄弟解釋情況
(用台語喔)
而原先喊不舒服的阿公  做完EKG  CXR
在沒有任何藥物之下 睡著了

在收住院和門診追蹤的掙扎之下
還是幫他掛了號

近七點的天空已經亮了 回宿舍躺平之後
我睡不著

i am sure with more efforts i can make more differences.
but it will never last long to work solo.
this is an issue about care but not cure.
and since this is not a team at all, i doubt to what extent i can achieve...

i'll work hard on this single case, but
what about more and more to come?
back in the center we were trained as a team, and the team was working and 
moving whether u think it was good or bad
the principle and goal were beautiful from all of our teachers, however, 
we are living in the real world.

tell me no "with great power, comes great responsibility"...
tell me no "u should be the one to break the ice"...

It has been raining endlessly here in I-Lan
there are only the gray sky and the blue, lonely me

all alone